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PTSD
My dog is thirsty; he has been thirsty for the last three hours. His bowl is empty, and I don’t really care. My son took him on a long walk, and my dog returned very thirsty. His bowl can’t be more than three feet from me, yet I am unable to get up off my couch and replenish his water. Why? I have PTSD.
This is a crippling disorder that is not only mental and physical; it is a biological disorder. I never thought I would encounter something so physically and mentally disabling.
In brief, I was the first responder at a fatal, freaky accident that took the life of an innocent young girl younger than my daughters. An errant double axle tire came loose from a semi-truck and traveled 400 yards before crushing a girl to death, then bounced back at my wife and I. The tire destroyed our car and came within feet of killing us. I couldn’t save the girl. I carry that guilt.
I wrote a book about my experience some years ago, “Espiritus,” which helped set me on a new writing path to help me cope. Writing is my therapy. I always thought PTSD couldn’t affect me because I wasn’t a soldier who witnessed unspeakable things. PTSD is fairly new; in WW1, it was considered shell-shocked; in WW2, it was called battle fatigue. Vietnam introduced PTSD. Apparently, first responders, police, and firefighters can suffer as well. Anyone can suffer from this disorder. There is no cure, just ways of curbing the edge of this depression.
You go about your daily business, and suddenly you are derailed. There are many triggers.
The more you deny you suffer from PTSD, the worse it gets. Learning self-control of situations that suddenly hit you out of nowhere is something else that happens, and you need to find your “safe place” in your mind when this happens. I have a daily box of tools to delve into. My dog is one of my tools; he is extremely helpful. His unconditional love helps. My daily song for my bride releases my heart; planning and cooking dinner is great therapy, as well as long walks to sync my mind and body.
Finally, the most important part of my daily therapy is pausing several times each day to thank God for my wonderful life, followed by prayers for the young girl who died.
I support Wounded Warriors, and the proceeds from my book are donated to this worthy cause.
Thank you for reading my stories.
Peter Arcuri
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1 Reply
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Great stories, my friend. Need to think though. Lol.