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Family Matters
My granddaughter
One lazy Saturday afternoon, I decided to catch up on some bills. I retrieved my checkbook, bills, and stamps to pay the bills. There were only four checks to write, so I thought I would just sit in the recliner, watch the ball game, and write the checks. My granddaughter, as usual on Saturdays, called her grandmother, my wife. They did ‘face time’ where both could view each other while talking. I wasn’t really paying attention to their conversation; my concentration was on math, not my best subject in school. I could hear them talking. My ears really perked up when I heard Melody say, Do you want to meet my boyfriend? She is only five years old! I know things move differently in Mississippi, so I’m not one to judge; however, she is only five years old! Nono, as my wife is affectionately known, started asking questions. The first question posed was, “How old are you, Kenny?” This deep voice can be heard over the phone—too deep for a five-year-old boy. “I’m not too old.” Immediately, my grandpa’s antennas went up; this kid won’t answer; I don’t like him. The next question my wife asked was, “What do you do for a living?’ Again, he did not answer. I’m thinking, “Who the fuck is this kid? Why is my wife having this conversation with this liar? Melody is only five years old! My wife asked the boy, ‘What’s your name?’ He answered Kenny, I now thought we were finally getting some where. He spoke monosyllabically—not many big words—and I began to think this kid was just full of shit. I continue to write the bills and watch the game, still not paying full attention to the phone conversation. Kenny spoke up and said, “Melody wants me to talk to Papi; that’s me. My bride hands me the phone, and I mime to her, “What the fuck are you doing? I don’t want to talk to this little shit.” Melody’s voice is heard: “Papi, talk to Kenny.” I’m resisting this; I don’t want to talk to this kid! Finally, I conceded to the powers of my granddaughter. I pick up the phone and meet Kenny; he’s a fucking doll! Ken from the Barbie set appeared, voiced by my five-year-old granddaughter. I am still laughing!
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1 Reply
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LOL. They pulled a fast one on grandpa. It’s a good one. Believeable.